


Remember that Night?

by just_a_chaotic_dreamer_36



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Based off a song, Desert Island, F/F, I can't write tags, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_a_chaotic_dreamer_36/pseuds/just_a_chaotic_dreamer_36
Summary: An indescribable feeling, and remembering the nights where it started then came crashing down.///Inspired by the song- Remember that Night, by: Sara Kays///
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Remember that Night?

_ Remember that night? _

The island’s sand, already embedded deep into their skin, a crushing reminder of the freshly dug grave of their fellow girl that had gone too soon. Fire didn’t help much with the unfamiliar cold, and everyone was too new with each other to want shared body heat. With the ominous crackle of the dancing flames and crashing tides going in and out did the first brave voice break the stony silence at a chance of hopeful games and drinking.

A fucking ice breaker, said in the light texan accent that seemed so unfazed, by the actions taken by all of them only minuets before. Her perfect blonde hair tied up in the ponytail, protective arms looped around her knees, and the perfect winning pageant smile gracing her soft lips. Fire danced in her eyes, illuminating the green irises with frightening depth. 

_ No bullshit _ one called, challenging the beauty. One who knew hiding all too well, knowing there was more than a shallow air-head blonde under the flawless skin. Of course she asked about sex, but said it like a science teacher in the seventh grade when they did the educational sex ed. That was even more bullshit than her question, a question that made her eyes flicker with slight fear as she looked around before fixing on the brown-eyed girl. The ferocity of her gaze made the hot-head retort and smirk as she took a heavy sip of liquor.

It was Shelby’s laugh that rang above all others as she drank proudly at the story of her piss-throwing victory.

_ Remember that night? _

It was all she could think about as she ran from the group huddled in the shelter. Damn her temper and blind rage. It forced mistakes and darkness from her body, turning her into a bomb. She was nothing but destruction. The sand seeped through her shoes as she came to a stop in the tree line, just far enough away to still see the low flicker of the campfire. Control was a word that she should have understood by now, but one that kept getting farther away with every step. This water surrounded prison was full of demons. And controlling them was even harder than before.

Shelby and her preaching. Shelby and her soft way with Marty. Shelby and her beautiful green eyes. Shelby and her words just enough to make Toni want to combust. They saw each other. A way the others couldn’t see and a way they refused to see themselves. Pain connected them, and love tore them apart. Toni remembered so vividly of passive aggressive voice and venomus words as she spit  _ Your not worth it. _

She was right. Toni wasn’t worth it. But neither was she. The dark feelings she repressed under feigned happiness were bound to break. Facades only lasted for so long.

_ Remember that night? _

The public display of ‘pronographic gestures’ made the demons come out. She just didn’t think they would hurt this bad. The pure hate that radiated in Shelby’s eyes as she called out what she thought was a sin crushed the small bit of hope that had grown of her. If Toni had looked hard enough she would have seen fear and jealousy. But the rage was too much, and pride came before the fall.

She was not going to take any shit from her. Verbal or in the form of a pill. All the fiery strength had physically left her body, and she knew she was dying. Pride and stubbornness were a deadly combination. She didn’t want Shelby’s help, but the blonde had to prove something. The tackle came unexpectedly, she was up, then laying on her back a steady weight pressing her hips down. The air supply was cut from her nose, making her mouth open for air. Breathing was more important than pride. And even dignity at this point. A pill was shoved in her mouth before a soft, manicured hand covered her lips. The small groan escaped her lips as she struggled, tired of being pinned down.

_ Swallow the fucking pill _

She complied, swallowing harshly and coughing as the weight retreated. Both girls would never forget that moment, a split second of understanding that would be repressed to no end. She recovered, but could not shake the feeling of Shelby’s weight pressing down on her hips, it made something in her stomach turn that should not be there. She snuck as many glances to her as she could, watched as the emotions broke across her face each on staying for only a second before being replaced. The fire danced in her eyes again, but instead it reflected all the opposite emotions.

Blind rage consumed her again when Martha collapsed. Her sister and right hand, the one always there for her was dying because of her selfishness. Dying because of pride and stubbornness. Toni wanted to scream on the top of her lungs, wanted to curse the living daylights out of Shelby and her winning smile. Wanted to make her see what real pain felt like, the pain of losing a loved one because of themselves. She wasted the fucking pill and now Martha was paying the price.

_ I don’t matter _

She doesn’t matter. Not to anyone here. Not to anyone on the outside world. The only person that she lived for was dying in her arms. What a fucking waste of a resourse. Shelby didn’t know what to say when they weren’t arguing or bickering, and Toni couldn’t feel anything but hate towards the girl. Even when the hurt hardened on her face with every  _ I don’t matter  _ she muttered to herself. Happiness never came free in Toni’s life, and this blonde seemed to be sucking it away with every word.

_ Remember that night? _

She had broken, and revealed a bit of ugliness. It wasn’t much, only a piece of plastic but it threw off the blonde. Toni didn’t think this was a reason to hate her, as Shelby spat, walking away in shame and fury. It didn’t make her like the blonde anymore, but it didn’t spark rage. Jokes didn’t seem to work either, later when they found eachother in the woods. The blonde looked so broken, sitting on the log dirty and crestfallen. 

She doesn’t hate you, she claims.

She does, and her denture fiasco didn’t stop Toni from calling the bluff. The hurt in Shelby’s eyes had flashed all too often in the past couple days. Most of them being because of the brown-eyed girl.

As the pile grew, so did Shelby’s courage. She talked about expectations, and that hard stuff she dealt with for something she chose. A life she walked into and decided to continue. Pressure. Shelby was under so much of it, it was suffocating and Toni was so free of it the air was being taken from her lungs. The time bomb inside her heart exploded as she let her broken emotions flow through words that Shelby didn’t deserve to even hear. Words that made pity flash across a face that had only ever held four emotions reserved for the brunette with each scathing, or hurt glare. Their lives were no walk in the park.

Freedom was one difference between the two. The opposite of expectations. Shelby had too little and Toni had too much. Both equally suffocating and breathtaking. The freedom had no limits here. It went back to expectations, but not from the fellows on the island, but the stuff that had been hard wired into Shelby’s brain since she could understand what it all ment. She didn’t know how to be free. Being free once scared her too much to want it. But now more than ever, it’s what both of them wanted.

Shelby kissed first, cupping the smaller girl’s face and pressing their chapped lips together before she could be pushed away again. Toni didn’t get it at first, why she kissed back so surely. Maybe it was because adrenaline kicked in and it was her programmed response to kisses even with unexpected people (Case and point). Maybe it was because Shelby’s emotions were running high and so much about herself was expressed as a hateful person that this was somehow a way of proving her point. She was proving a point, and it didn’t hit Toni until Shelby allowed her to kiss back.

Shelby was proving herself in ways words or actions could never. The expression of her pent up fear, loathing and hatred of herself and who she was. She was proving that this was the weight she carried, and getting attached to someone could make it hard for her to go back. Being free would never be possible for her besides on this fucking island with all it’s torutes and trials. In that moment they understood each other, and these roots planted even deeper than before, and some that would be harder for the soldiers in their heads to cut through.

It stopped too quickly. They broke apart. Fearful green against understanding and confused brown. Frozen for a second too long. One ran, one chased. The battle was still raging on inside of the two, but now the tides turned and they were yet to find out if it was because of an enemy or friend.

_ Remember that night? _

It all came crashing down. Shelby had snapped, and it was because of Toni and her demons. Both their demons had met and found a new home inside of one. Toni wanted to do many things. She wanted to comfort Shelby instead of watching her get trashed; she wanted to help the girl fight her demons’, she wanted to stop the newly shattered girl from cutting off her hair; this time, fear stopped them both.

It took everything Toni had not to help the girl as she fell apart piece by piece. She watched as the happy light faded from her eyes and the emotion drained from her face with every passing second. Fear encased the two, as one collapsed alone in the cold and the other faced the fire surrounded by faces with mirrored expressions. None of them had roots.

The demons had taken over, they were winning the battles for better or worse.

_ Remember that night? _

Hunger had subsided, being overthrown by passion as they kissed under the lychee tree. Shelby had come to an agreement with her demons, and Toni waited patiently for her to make the decision. The gut wrenching hunger and fear were disappearing with every glance and skin brush.

Shelby kissed first again, but was no longer rushed into it by an argument. She kissed like she knew what she wanted. She still didn’t know exactly what that was, but this would help her figure it out. She cupped the smaller girl's face and kissed her like there was nothing in the world had could ever stop her.

_ Are you sure? _

The words were daunting and scary. They rocked the girls to their core in fear and passion. Shelby kisses her hungerly in response, muttering a small consent before Toni kisses back, scared to scare her away, but wanting it enough to be the fiery person that she could be. She lets Shelby figure things out, the pace, who moves first, and what they do. For a second, neither were scared anymore. The war has calmed and together, far away for expectations, pressure, and bullshit, do they realise what it means to love someone so much they were willing to die for each other; even before they knew it.

_ Remember that night? _

The heated kissing, mess of tangled limbs, and blushing so madly it created enough warmth for the both of them. The tree’s leaves were soft enough that their bodies could rest comfortable against them. The night had dawned and thousands of stars twinked brightly above them, glittering in happiness. Shelby’s fingers traced patterns across Toni’s back, holding her close as they gazed up at the heavens. 

Shelby looked even more beautiful in the pale moonlight, it threw stunning shadows across her face and made her produce this ethereal glow that could only be considered magic. The small smile across her pink lips was true and pure, the first real one that had ever graced her on that godforsaken island. The girl’s green irises glittered with the reflection of the dotted sky. This was true beauty, and no make-up or winning smiles could ever bring it out again.

This scared them and it constantly went back and forth, refusing to stay still. Toni cursed the blonde’s parents for making her hide who she was, forcing her true self from shining on the brilliantly lighted stage claiming it was a sin. Claiming she would be alone forever. She would never be alone, and Toni would make sure of it. With their bodies pressed together, as close as humanly possible, did they kiss away their fears, hopes and dreams, leaving only room for feelings that would quickly possess them and make the good demons come forth.

They also learned that night, how much of a fuck Toni did give about going to the Planaterium. 

_ Remember that night? _

So damn calm were not words that had ever been used to describe Toni Shalifoe. But she liked the way it sounded coming for Shelby’s mouth, even if it was laced with annoyance. Of course this mattered to her. It was the only thing that had truly mattered to her in a while. Shelby couldn’t stop any feelings she had allowed in the night before, and for the first time she didn’t have a single desire to subdue them. This mattered to her, and the freedom she felt was new and enticing. Something she could never let go again.

A love had sparked between the two girls, an unlikely and confusing one. It was driven by passion and demons that showed themselves all too often. It was beauty in its truest most complicated form. A hurting girl, with soft brown hair that fell over her shoulders in waves, a cocky smirk, and loving brown eyes, one that loved so fiercely it sometimes hurt. A damaged girl, with radiant green eyes, and blonde hair cut so uneven it made her look more perfect then when it was curled for a pageant, and a smile, that was used as a mask hiding her broken pieces from the world, it now displayed all of them out loud. This was something priceless.

Their worlds had come crashing down, but they pulled each other from the rubble still broken and bruised, but loved and cherished like never before. 

_ Remember that night? _

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first time posting on this site so hopefully this goes well. thank you for reading my stuff! that's it


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